#best enrichment an app has ever given me

[dailyhogz]

day 64. boop……. happy april fools

[batshaped]

twitter stop fucking up for one second challenge (impossible)

well,

here’s the thing. it feels like social media is changing lately. every social media site seems to be fucking up or getting worse in its own special little way. i recently read and thought a lot about this article which coins the term “enshittification” and describes the process by which every social media platform eventually becomes so greedy as to become unusable. it makes me wonder if the social internet is due for a big shift in the near future. 

for a long time, twitter was the best place for me. for all its issues, it had the audience that i could reach the easiest, that was the most invested in my art. i got (still get) a lot of awesome replies and really great analysis of my work on twitter, which i didn’t receive on any other platform. i was able to encourage those readers by retweeting their comments and theories to show that i liked hearing their thoughts. i could use the Moments feature to organize my art and make my comic easily readable in order. and anyone could look at my twitter, account or no.

ever since the site was bought out, twitter is getting worse. i can’t use the app on mobile anymore because every reply section is drowned out by blue checks and choked with ads. the Moments feature was disabled and people couldn’t easily read my comics in order anymore. and this is without even touching on the bigger/more serious issues the buyout has brought to the app. these are just the ways it has made my personal experience of being an artist on there worse. and now, apparently, you can’t even look at my work unless you have an account.

it’s been pretty common in the past year for the new management to implement a bad feature and then undo it after backlash, and maybe this too will be reversed. but even if it is unimplemented, the platform will continue to get worse. all platforms are getting worse right now. all of them are becoming untenable to use without 7 bespoke browser extensions to block ads, hide specific unwanted content, force chronological order, and so on. on mobile i don’t even bother. apps are unusable. 

on top of that, i have the personal issue of not being the type of creator who is particularly good at staying on top of more than one or two platforms daily. twitter has been my main for years now, so i’m pretty good about updating it very regularly. instagram is trailing behind, i usually remember to post there daily (especially as i’m remaking mine right now and posting my entire backlog) but sometimes i forget. and that’s kind of my limit. every other site falls by the wayside because i just don’t want to spend my whole day or life updating platforms. i know there are tools that can do it automatically for you but i don’t want to do it that way and then i’d have to figure out a new tool and get yet another account on yet another app and install yet another extension to use it.

i just want to draw. i don’t know how we arrived at this place where we need to be 700 other things when we are just artists. i draw and write, isn’t that enough? if i wanted a presence on tiktok i’d also have to be a video editor who pays close attention to trends and makes sure to transform my artwork into something people on that app are interested in. even if i just wanted to have a strong presence on say, twitter/instagram/tumblr/tapas/webtoon i’d have to take on another (unpaid) job as my own social media manager, meticulously managing my uploads across 5+ apps and making sure everything is up to date and tailored to what “works” on each particular platform. i already have a day job—i’m a storyboard artist. the art i post online is supposed to be made and given freely for my own enrichment first and foremost, and for the joy of sharing with others as a close second.

i wonder if we’re due for a mass rejection of this increasingly draining cable-wars-style model of spreading ourselves thin across multiple platforms just to reach the exclusive audience each one provides. i’m starting to feel done with that concept, but i still want to share my art. i want to hear my readers’ thoughts. i want to create things that connect with others. i want to do it without these ever-mounting obstacles.

what i’m doing about it is creating my own website at my own domain that belongs to me. i doubt i’ll be quitting social media when it’s done. social media is still where the audience i cherish lives. but you can bet that when that website is ready to be shared, i’ll be talking about it on every social media account i own. i’ll be telling everyone there’s a place to look at my art where you don’t need an account, you don’t have to struggle through a morass of ads, and you don’t have to line the pockets of a billionaire who bought a social media app on a whim. it’ll just be you and my art. alone together.

by the way, to @whatthehelljake​ i apologize for writing a fucking SAT essay on a screenshot of your reply. any exasperated tone here is not directed at you at all. it’s directed at this sea of obstacles that disrupt the simple concept of “i made art and i want to share it with you.” your reply is how i found out today that twitter made this change. i cherish the fact that you want to connect with my art so much that you alerted me to this. i wish that wasn’t necessary. i want to make my work on my own terms—and want you to be able to experience it on YOUR own terms.

all that to say, i think the website is going to be the main answer to this issue. i don’t see myself having the energy to update tumblr that much more often than i already do, though maybe i’ll try to pick up the pace a little now. we’ll see. holy shit if you read all this go drink a glass of water or something get up and stretch. ok thank you bye <3

[lilyisfrozen]

Out of curiosity, how did you get into fanfiction writing? What is your writing process like?

I’ve thought off and on about writing for nearly 3 years now but every time I think I might start, I decide against it. I feel like I wouldn’t have a good story to write because I never have a set plot, just specific scenes I see in my head that I want to write, that I’d have to connect somehow. And when I think of a story, it changes so many times in my head if I ever actually tried to write one I think I’d never finish it.

But there is one scene I keep seeing in my head over and over, and my heart wants to write it, to write an entire multi-part story to make this one scene happen, but my head is so scared I feel like I can’t. (It’s actually a scene with Akaza from Demon Slayer, lol). How does anyone get over that fear?

Hello, Anon!

These are some amazing questions. They really take me back when I first started writing, which really could’ve been ten years ago!

First of all, I want to establish that the only way you can start writing is if you just sit down and write. Acknowledge that the first product might not be the quality you’re looking for, but its a place to start and grow. I’ve had to write millions of words and analyze different methods of story telling to get to where I am now, and I believe at this point, I can openly admit without fearing I’d sound full of myself that I have approached a very good place in my writing. But its taken ten years. As Rengoku-san said, time won’t wait for us. So its really up to us to seize the moment and just write.

Now in order of your questions. I got into fanfiction writing because I started reading fanfiction about ten years ago. It was sometime in my early teens when I was looking up photos of my favorite character from an anime and stumbled on a site called fanfiction.net. The more I read, the more I wanted to write too! So I devised my own story and started writing it down in a notebook. Eventually, I made an account and after several months of having the account, I was finally brave enough to post the first chapter. I never finished the story, and that stands for the majority of pieces on that account.

But that’s okay. I was a fledgling learning what I liked and didn’t like, and that’s something that’s part of the writing process. No one will know what they expect from themselves unless they read. Its really the first step. Digest good literature, analyze writing styles, break out the thesaurus and mix up your vocabulary, think of out of the box verbs - basically, writing is taking risks, and unless the risks are taken, change won’t happen.

Its similar in music. I’ve mentioned in other posts that in addition to writing, I am also a musician (and artist because apparently I want ALL the hobbies). A big part of expressing yourself in music is taking risks. Swell that crescendo, bring out that moving part, find a different articulation for those notes. In an ensemble, I’m not the only one doing it either. We’re all there together taking risks to produce the best kind of music that we can.

It absolutely applies to writing. I think the most enriching experience has been interacting with other writers. We read each other’s works, RP with each other, and it really has given me insight into another writer’s mind and exposed me to different stylistic elements I found appealed to me. So I adopted them!

In art, it isn’t uncommon to see an element of someone’s art style and apply it to your own, which is where the reading comes into play again. Interacting with other writers, reading works of fiction and nonfiction at times as well, and taking the risk to sit down and write are things I have found help me be successful.

I also have an original project I’ve been working on for several years, but I want to plot everything out before I sit down and write out the chapters. One thing I have found very useful is a small notepad, or note app for those who prefer digital, for jotting down ideas when I have them. This way, they’re not lost in the already muddled thoughts of my mind.

Now when it comes to writing a multi chapter story…sometimes winging it works just as well. I honestly had no idea what I was doing with Haunted the first eight chapters. Those were all pulled right out of my ass. Sometimes that’s how it is. Not everything needs to be meticulously plotted, else it becomes dry and uninspired. Leave room for events or dialogue to naturally happen. Plot your biggest points and the rest often works itself out.

The beauty of writing is you also don’t have to share it. I know writers who do write often but keep most of their work to themselves. And that’s okay. If you don’t like what you have written the first several drafts, you don’t have to share it at all. Writing, in my perspective, shouldn’t be for others, but for the sake of yourself as its something that should be enjoyed.

There’s also no shame in trying it and finding you don’t like it, but don’t give up after the first try! Or the second! Or the third!

Its never going to be perfect. We’re human! And that’s okay. The fear of starting something new is intimidating for anyone, but all it takes it taking the step from what is known and comfortable into the unknown. Its how humans change and grow. Change isn’t always a bad thing! Its scary, absolutely, but nothing to truly fear. In fact, I absolutely commented on my first fanfic as a guest to make myself feel better because my fic wasn’t getting any traffic.

Which was understandable. I’m far too terrified to read it and see how I’ve grown.

But that could be inspiring for some! People keep old art to track their progress, and that can definitely be done with writing.

In conclusion, because this is an essay at this point, writing is about risk and learning. Its constantly evolving. Maybe the first thing you write won’t be so great, but that only means the second will be better, and you have only upwards to go! Read and absorb information constantly. Watch videos on how to plot, write notes down somewhere, create charts and forms to organize them. Everyone is different, so you’ll always find different methods out there.

And who knows? Maybe what’s in that beautiful brain of yours is something special? It would be a damn shame if it was to never be developed. So give it a try. That’s all I could really say.

Take some risks. I hope this was useful, and if there’s anything you want me to break down and simplify, please don’t be afraid to ask. I’d be happy to expand on anything. Thank you for sending in your ask. This was quite fun to write!

ONE LAST THING. The most important. Have fun, no matter what you decide to do.

[novelhotnet]

Best Books To Read Online - Free Light Novel Online - ReadNovelFull

https://novelhot.net/ HotNovel-Enrich Your Imagination, Read Best Romantic Fictions HotNovel contains many web novel genres, Werewolf/Vampire, Billionaire, Marriage, Suspense, Campus romance, LGBTQ+, Urban love, Overbearing president, Cross-fantasy, Quotev, Wealthy and influential clan, and is the most anticipated romance novel APP. HotNovel has been continuously recruiting high-quality authors and has a steady stream of new content recommendations. Realization set in, my face morphing into shock. He closed his eyes as his head hung in shame, feeling that wave of guilt coursing through his system. Manning up, he explained the situation to the pack, but not before we had a private conversation in the driveway. That conversation left me broken, shattered, lying on the gravel driveway as he made his way inside to check on her. He has a responsibility to do the right thing now, and I'm the one who has to suffer. I continued to watch as he set her plate down in front of her, her brown eyes squinting as she smiled up at him with happiness. He returned the smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. I know him. Ever since I was a baby, I've known him. That wasn't his happy smile. That could have been me down there, eating with him. If he had never gone to our northern allying pack this summer to train, it would be me down there with him. He's the Alphas first born son, the future Alpha. Every future alpha is expected to spend their summer at a different allying pack to train with the other warriors and Alphas. They do this to become a strong leader and learn all the different methods there are to being a warrior, making them a supreme Alpha. He began leaving for the summer when he was eighteen, a year after his first shift. Future Alpha's spend their first year training with their own pack, learning from their own Alpha. This was his third year of training. There was only one more year left until he would be considered ready to take over if anything happened to his father, the current Alpha. Now the goal of finding his mate, his Luna, had been shattered by the lust that he hadn't managed to restrain. The one thing every future Alpha dreams of is finding their true, moon-given mate, and that was thrown down the drain for one night of uninhibited passion. The thought sickens me to my core. And to think, I saved myself for him, my mate. Two weeks. It has been two weeks since he arrived back home. It's been two weeks since my first shift celebration, the night I discovered he was mine. Two weeks that I've been broken inside, not healing - staying the same. He was a full-grown Alpha male. I may be just seventeen, a juvenile, but I could see the love in his sky blue eyes the night he discovered I was his mate. There was shock written on his face, then happiness, followed by alarm and guilt. He couldn't know what I was to him until I shifted into my own wolf, even after all these years of our families being so closely knit.

[happyweddingblogs]

150 Best Engagement Quotes By Famous Personalities and Celebrities

Source: Happy Wedding App

You might need engagement quotes to beautify your Facebook and Insta posts; here, I am sharing with you 150+ timeless Engagement quotes given by famous personalities and celebrities. Take a look……

“Control leads to compliance; autonomy leads to engagement.” ― Daniel H. Pink.

“I have an engagement ring, which is my favorite accessory.” — Jules Asner.

“I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all you’re yet to be.” — Unknown.

“When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.” ― P.G. Wodehouse.

“I couldn’t have dreamed you into existence because I didn’t even know I needed you. You must have been sent to me.” ― Kamand Kojouri.

“…learning always occurs in a context of taking action, and they value engagement and experience as the most effective strategies for deep learning.” ― Richard DuFour.

To speak frankly, I am not in favor of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.” ― Oscar Wilde.

“I married a man who was as much a part of me as my own soul.” ― C.J. English.

“Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.” — William Penn

“Marriage is not kick-boxing, it’s salsa dancing.” ― Amit Kalantri.

“There are many blanks left in the weeks of courtship, which a loving faith fills with happy assurance.” ― George Eliot.

“It is wrong to think of marriage as hyped bondage. You can marry and still be happy. Everything rests on who you are married to. Marriage is a beautiful thing.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson.

“Student engagement is a product of motivation and active learning. It is a product rather than a sum because it will not occur if either element is missing.” ― Elizabeth F. Barkley.

“And try not to make a habit of getting engaged in the first place, Vivie. It can lead to marriage if you’re not careful.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert.

“Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.” — Unknown.

“The success of love is in the loving; it is not in the result of loving.” – Mother Teresa.

“Give a man the finger; he’ll put a wedding ring on it!” ― Ljupka Cvetanova.

“My acronym for full-on engagement: ROAR, Return on Attendee Relevance” ― Andrea Driessen

“The highest happiness on earth is marriage.” — William Lyon Phelps.

“They had exchanged vows and tokens, sealed their rich compact, solemnized, so far as breathed words and murmured sounds and lighted eyes and clasped hands could do it, their agreement to belong only, and to belong tremendously, to each other.” ― Henry James.

“Love is not in the ring. Love is in the heart.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson.

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” — Nora Ephron.

“You Need To Gauge, To Engage.” ― Syed Sharukh

“Doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.” — William Shakespeare.

Related:  List of ideas for your Engagement party

“When you found someone you really loved, everything fitted.” ― Melissa Hill.

“It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—they get to know each other better.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

“I’ve found someone who refuses to let me be anything but myself.” ― Hayley Paige.

“We start a relationship with someone not only because of how great they are but how great they make us feel. And because they have granted us this extraordinary gift—a chance to experience Love, joy, compassion, and security —it is our exclusive privilege to make them feel wonderful about themselves, especially during days when they, themselves, don’t feel so wonderful.” ― Kamand Kojouri.

“Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always.” — Dante Alighieri.

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it Love—true Love.” — Robert Fulghum.

“Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” — Zig Ziglar.

“I won’t give my heart to another girl until God shows me it’s my wife.” ― Eric Ludy

“The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is provided by every family member living in the house until they die.” ― Heather Chapple.

“Engagement can be a commitment to love or a declaration of war. One must enter every battle without hesitation, willing to fully engage the enemy until death does you apart.” ― Emily Thorne.

“My forever.” ― Unknown

“To keep the fire burning brightly, there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart—about a finger’s breadth—for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.” — Marnie Reed Crowel

“Once you’ve found the right person, you just know.” ― Sophie Turner.

“A perfect couple shares their failures, mistakes and their successes equally and deals with them all as a team.” ― Ricardo Derose.

“How could I say no?” ― Unknown.

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” — Barnett R. Brickner.

“Calm down, it isn’t a ring,” I laughed, and he pushed the box across the table to me, and I blushed and opened it.” ― Mercy Cortez.

“We’re engaged to be engaged, aren’t we?” ― E.D. Baker

“You don’t marry someone you can live with-you marry the person you cannot live without.” — Unknown.

“Marriage is not the beginning of the journey, nor the end – it is the journey.” ― Carew Papritz.

“He’s just the best person I’ve ever met in my whole life.” ― Jennifer Lawrence.

“His proposal was dedicated to his love for me and the future he wanted to build together.” ― Rachel Lindsay.

“My Constant.” ― Unknown

“He got down on one knee, and he’s like, ‘I forgot everything I’m supposed to say, but you’re my best friend.'” ― Hilary Duff.

“It was so sweet.” ― Hilary Duff.

Also See: 110 Most Romantic Wedding Couple Quotes

“Well, he is the best man I’ve ever met. He’s just everything to me.” ― Unknown.

“Here’s to a lifetime of friendship, purpose & unconditional love.” ― Bindi Irwin.

“I asked my best friend a question… and he said yes.” ― Unknown.

“We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called Love.” — Gene Perret.

“Wherever you are, is my home, my only home.” — Jane Eyre.

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” — Simone Signoret

“She said yes. Locking it down.” ― Alex Rodriguez.

“When he asked, I could not say NO.” ― Unknown.

“Engagement marks the end of a whirlwind romance and beginning of an eternal love story.” — Unknown.

“True love stories never have endings.” — Richard Bach.

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” — Robert Browning.

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” — Franklin P. Jones.

“The countdown begins.” ― Unknown.

“We are not perfect; we learn from our mistakes. And as long as it takes, I will prove my Love to you.”— Sara Bareilles.

“It’s time to make things official.” ― Unknown.

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” — Helen Keller.

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.” ― Unknown.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; But it is the journey that matters, in the end.” — Ernest Hemingway.

“Every day is an engagement day for us.” ― Unknown.

“The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret.” — Henny Youngman.

“25 days to go.” ― Unknown.

“I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul.” —Charles Dickens.

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes.

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” — Maya Angelou.

“You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” – Arthur Conan Doyle.

“And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I’d choose you.” —Kiersten White.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” — Aristotle.

“Love one another, and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” — Micheal Leunig.

“It’s not your perfectness that I fell in Love with. It was your flaws that brought me in.” — Unknown.

“All commands from your lips are sweet, I say, and now have you not said the sweetest of all? Marry you!” — Byron Caldwell Smith.

“My whole heart for my whole life.” — French Proverb

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” — Emily Bronte.

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein.

“A marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat; if one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it; otherwise they will go to the bottom together.” — David Reuben.

“And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I’d choose you.” — Kiersten White.

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham.

Related: 65+ Beautiful Wedding Album Quotes

“Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each includes the other, each is enriched by the other.” — Felix Adler.

“It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—they get to know each other better.” — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.

“Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost.” — Milan Kundera.

“The disgusting way an engagement is regarded public property; all these older women smirking…but my point is their whole attitude is wrong— an engagement, horrid word in the first place, is a private affair and should be regarded as such.” — Daniel Day-Lewis.

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” — Katharine Hepburn.

“It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

“We may have started as individuals, but now we are as one.” — Bryon Pulsifer.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” – A.A. Milne.

“Today, engagement parties still allow both families to meet each other if they haven’t done so before. Even if both sets of parents have met, it’s nice for siblings and other extended relatives to meet and mingle, so they are all acquainted with one another before the wedding.” — Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer.

“They say that marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” — Clint Eastwood.

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” — Barnett R. Brickner.

“Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them, and you have found a lover for life.” — Leo Buscaglia.

“Courtship to marriage is a very witty prologue to a very dull play.” — William Congreve.

“It is the duty of the bride’s father to give a party to announce the Engagement. Apparently, this is done only after everyone knows about it.” — Spencer Tracy.

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller.

“The best thing that the diamond ring could do; was to amicably occupy a place on the engagement finger.” — Nikhil Parekh.

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. Your Love paints a beautiful picture of what Love really means.” — Unknown.

“You rose into my life like a promised sunrise, brightening my days with the light in your eyes. I’ve never been so strong. Now I’m where I belong.” — Maya Angelou.

“Engagement can be a commitment to love or a declaration of war. One must enter every battle without hesitation, willing to fully engage the enemy until death do you apart.” — Emily Thorne.

“It’s never out of style to have good manners. If possible, make the engagement announcement to the bride’s parents in person.” — Joyce Scardina-Becker.

“Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, the water of sincerity and air of passion.” — Unknown.

“A perfect couple shares their failures, mistakes and their successes equally and deals with them all as a team.” — Ricardo Derose.

“Marriages don’t work when one partner is happy, and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.” – Forget Paris.

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.” — Mignon McLaughlin.

“I won’t give my heart to another girl until God shows me it’s my wife.” — Eric Ludy.

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” — Antoine.

“You rose into my life like a promised sunrise, brightening my days with the light in your eyes. I’ve never been so strong. Now I’m where I belong.” — Maya Angelou.

“Although somewhat outdated, the use of formal announcement cards is a beautiful and elegant way to spread the word of your engagement.” — Joyce Scardina-Becker.

“Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” — Zig Ziglar.

“If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.” — Michelle Hodkin.

Also See: 111 Best Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Friends

“I would rather not be engaged. When people are engaged, they begin to think of being married soon…and I should like everything to go on for a long while just as it is.” — George Eliot.

“If you tell me you love me, I might not believe you, but if you show me you do, then I will.” — Unknown

“An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done.” — Jane Austen.

“An engagement should come upon a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant as the case may be. It is hardly a matter she could be allowed to arrange for herself.” — Edith Evans.

“For a marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” — Catherine Zeta-Jones.

“Let us be together for the rest of our lives; I will assure you that, starting from this engagement.” — Unknown.

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is a conversation.” — Oscar Wilde.

“I choose you, and I’ll choose you. Over and over and over without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, I’ll keep choosing you.” — Unknown.

“For it was not into my ear, you whispered but into my heart.” — Judy Garland.

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“We may have started as individuals, but now we are as one.” — Bryon Pulsifer.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” — Carl Jung.

“He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.” — Leo Tolstoy.

“To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” — David Viscott.

“I promise to take care of you when you are old, but the first time you hit me with your cane, I’ll wash your dentures in toilet water.” – Unknown.

“No engagement is worth anything unless it has been broken at least once.” — Dorothy Tutin.

“There are many blanks left in the weeks of courtship, which a loving faith fills with happy assurance.” — George Eliot.

“Each time you happen to me all over again.” – Edith Wharton

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” — Ernest Hemingway.

“Love is not blind—it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” — Rabbi Julius Gordon.

“Without you, I’m nothing, with you I’m something, but together we are everything.” — Unknown.

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn.

“I try to remember, as I hear about friends getting engaged, that it’s not about the ring and it’s not about the wedding. It’s a grave thing, getting married. And it’s easy to get swept up in the wrong things.” — Gwyneth Paltrow.

“I feel like this is the beginning, though I’ve loved you for a million years.” — Stevie Wonder.

“What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life—to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories!” – George Eliot

“A relationship is like a house when a light bulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, but you fix the light bulb.” — Unknown.

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” — Antoine.

“My instinct is to keep my engagement ring. After all, I wouldn’t like to see it on the finger of a cheeky girl.” — Sian Lloyd.

“Engagement is the time when you have a clear view of how wonderful your coming life will be. So try to get the best vision of a great and wonderful future waiting for you.” — Unknown.

“Love doesn’t make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” — Franklin P. Jones.

“If I had a single flower for every time, I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden.” — Claudia Adrienne Grandi.

“All commands from your lips are sweet, I say, and now have you not said the sweetest of all? Marry you!” — Byron Caldwell Smith.

“For you see, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” — Rosemonde Gerard.

“I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“You are my answered prayer because you are more than a giver in many aspects—a giver of Love, hope, and happiness. You are a great giver in your own peerless ways.” — Unknown.

“I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.” — Deanne Laura Gilbert.

Everyone has an addiction; mine just happens to be you.” — Unknown.

Use these beautiful Engagement quotes to write wonderful F.B. and Insta posts to announce the great news to the world.

[itscookieoverlordtoyou]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

Don’t you sometimes see those ask games and wish you could just fkg do them all? On this sunny Saturday, we make our dreams reality lolol

1.  Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short fic, I usually get a small scene I want written so I write around it, plus I love short stories with interesting punchline.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Probably, I don’t know them all ^^’

3.  Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Writing about stuff that disgust me I guess.

4.  How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Like 5-6? I want to write about a restaurant but set in a world where people have powers I think the combo could be very funny. The main character has the power of insight, the plonge is a giant pool where you swim around cleaning. Backstories of characters with shitty and amazing powers and how they ended up here. Rival to lover character that has the power to see into the future.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Dialogues, subversion, and humor; classmates often said I have a touch to spin a sad story into something positive/happier.

6.  Share one of your weaknesses?

I get tired when I describe something for longer than 4 sentences.

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“In what kind of trouble have we walked right into?”, I ask my companions as they’re idly fixing their attire. Together, we’ve face many perils and this mission ranks among one of the most dangerous. Yet, the others had been…how should I say it…professional! Rescuing kidnapped princesses, vanquishing terrifying monsters, quests to restore mythical artifacts, save nations from insidious plots. Oddly enough, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, is not the answer I’m looking for.

Ribbon in my hair is the first time I wrote about my knights, I first dreamt about them when I as 18, my boyfriend at the time called my idea stupid and my world building pointless so I only started writing about them when I was 21. Now I write about them a little bit every year :)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Do you really want your last words to be complaints?”

“I die as I lived.”

“Will we become a fruit tree?”

“I don’t think so, it’s never been the case for my ancestors.”

“I’d love it if we could turn into a banana tree.”

“I’m not from the southern regions, plus I like apples more.”

“Just imagine, our fruits could have been banana flambée”

This death scene was a big finale to a story I wrote for a class in Uni, a story of war between clan of forest and volcano people, of the supposedly brutal death of a Goddess, of a mysterious apple tree whose fruit give vision of the past. I should revisit it.

9.  Which fic as been the hardest to write?

My analysis on D’Artagnan and the figure of the hero. Granted it’s an essay for school but I deeply loved it. I was too afraid to write or ask for help from the professor in charge of me (which made our relationship tense ^^’) but when I did, it was beautiful and I was very proud got 89% :D

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

A play called Adelaide where an old couple reads their old fairytale book about a Prince on a quest to save a Princess. They bicker about the other misreading the story but we finally get to the part where the Prince tosses the princess apart to get a better view of the dragon of which he falls instantly in love. The book is actually their wedding album.

11.  Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s one of my passions, but it’s not something I think I could live on so I delegated it to my hobby.

12.  Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

The wedding scene in Shrek 2, my mind was blown when I saw it in theaters and when I need inspiration to write, I rewatch it.

13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Presentation is important. If trying to read you gives people headaches, they’ll stop. Choose a nice big font, space with paragraphs, be mindful of your spelling and missing words. Read out loud because some things written are bad said.

14.  What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I must’ve been lucky in this regard, I don’t think I’ve ever received advice that made me go NO, but I did have to listen/read stuff that made me gag.

15.  If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to the Adelaide acted out, some adjustments would be required because I’m no expert in play writing but I think I’d be great.

16.  If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Luyenor’a and Taram, names are placeholders as of now but they’re two of my knight, being the “only pairing I’m allow to write about forever” means I’d get more knight shenanigans done.

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m doing bullets point of what I want to happen and write stuff without much order. Some days I have no inspirations for what goes in the beginning but have loads for a later point. I surf the wave when it presents itself.

18.  Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Word on my computer, a notebook in my bag, the note app in my phone.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I have little trinkets all around my computer to invite inspiration.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Freshly woken up, having eaten, drinking something sugary and sometimes apple cider because the alcohol help lower my inhibition.

21.  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I read out loud at least once the whole thing, helps with missing words but dude I reread my stuff on ao3 and always find mistakes still ^^’

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

I’m not going to put here because it’s in French and I don’t want to translate now but I wrote Vision of a world, mine when I was 16 and damn was I already depressed then?

23.  If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

The Princess and the Soldier, some gay fairytale I think my first one, I’m sure I can do better bow

I also have one about a janitor and it’s a murder mystery I could redo

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Once by accident, I was so angry I never rewrote it.

25.  What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t really use beta (beta reader right?) but I guess I’ve had like 3-4 when I was in Uni and had to read people’s wip and they read mine. They’d talk about what they liked, links they noticed, things that seemed weak or to change

26.  Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I usually just point out the stuff I like

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

For a class in college, we had to act out a play we wrote collectively. Ten sketches written in pairs/alone. I made sure I was alone so I wouldn’t be saddled with someone else to write my sketch

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I don’t follow fic writers; I just am in a mood for a ship and read what’s available. I do like my friend @alumort ‘s fics tho ^^

29.  If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

There was a Phineas and Ferb fic focused on Perry I really loved. Their world building was something I’d never seen and they abandoned the story, so I did fanfic of a fic. Never dared to post it anywhere I mean it was their world to begin with.

30.  Do you accept prompts?

Of course, when inspiration is given I accept

31.  Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I don’t care about canon but I do love using it when there are little trivia to enrich the character.

32.  How do you feel about smut?

Love to read it sometimes, would love to write it. Some I’m like………….youveneverhadsexhaveyou…………………

33.  How do you feel about crack?

Love it!!!!!!!! I’m too self-conscious to write it tho. Oh maybe that could be a never before written trope I could try?

34.  What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Rape I can’t, dub-con where underlying requited feelings exist but anxiety™ don’t let the characters express them but they’re drunk so it surfaces is okay

35.  Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Hell yeah! I do when/if the death makes sense (I am still pissed at Kishi for Neji)

36.  Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3 is where I post,I used devianart when I had one

37.  Talk about your current wips.

Marry Me for the Love of Cake: God I’m so sorry to the few people who followed it, I said I’d pick it up before the end of 2019 and well……I have the ending in bullet points

Yours, with Love: I hope I’ll finish it…I have most of the ending in bullet points

I guess I’m into rom com at the moment lolol

38.  Talk about a review that made your day.

I made my best friend read All this for a Roll Cake, and she laughed so much at my work, I took a picture I look at from time to time to remain humble.

39.  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully I’ve never received a rude review. My professor once told me it seemed kinda unnatural how unlucky my protagonist was vs. how lucky his love interest was (All this for a Roll Cake) but that was the whole point of the story so I just ignored her.

40.  Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Writing this I realised I lost my final version of All this for a Roll Cake T^T so I guess I’d rewrite the ending I have of the before the last version I still have.

Well this was fun ^^ got to revisit my works and remember many beloved pieces of fiction I wrote, I look forward to my next projects

[dippedanddripped]

In his 2018 skit on Supreme, Hasan Minaj, the patron comic of hype culture, said, “Without objects that make me stand out, what am I? Then I just have to be myself, and that’s terrifying, because I am insecure and I need things to make me feel better about myself.” In a couple of sentences, he deftly drilled to the core of the fuccboi psyche: a deep-seated insecurity about one’s own worth and an equally deep-seated desire to prove that worth to others.

Both the clinical and the cultural term for this state is Narcissism.

Narcissism is often confused with egotism or mere selfishness, but while it may contain elements of both, it’s driven not by an outsized sense of self-respect but by self-loathing, which leads to inexorable desire and strife for approval from others. “It’s a very insecure personality, and all the stuff on the outside – the grandiosity, the arrogance, the entitlement – is a suit of armor to buttress a weak interior core, because on the subconscious level narcissists think that others will see that they are not all that,” Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a best-selling author and an expert on narcissism, told me.

Narcissism is nothing new, but the level of narcissism on display in our culture is unprecedented – Dr. Ramani calls it the disease of our time. In his prophetic 1979 bestseller The Culture of Narcissism, the sociologist Christopher Lasch dissected a milieu of mass media that gave more and more coverage to celebrities, narcissistic role models whose behavior was increasingly beginning to be condoned, excused, and explained away. He blamed the rise of the narcissistic personality on “proliferation of images” and “the cult of consumption,” among other things. Fast-forward to 2020, and 1979 looks positively quaint in the age of social media, for there is no bigger driving engine of narcissism than social media platforms such as Instagram.

In the decade since its launch, much has been said about how Instagram has democratized media, but it simultaneously open-sourced Narcissism that was formerly reserved for a celebrity elite. Today, with the rise of Gen Z, this tendency reaches another dimension on TikTok. “Everybody on the app has some form of narcissism,” TikTokker Liv Huffman told Highsnobiety in our special zine about the platform’s stars. “You kind of have to in order to put yourself on the Internet like that.”

Having unleashed the technological means of disseminating narcissism with the one hand, contemporary culture has continued to manufacture models for narcissistic behavior in ever increasing numbers with the other. Contemporary pop music is filled to the brim with rappers whose lyrics are all about the display of their possessions. What began as a legitimate hip-hop lyrical device for expressing a sense of pride in lifting oneself up by attaining markers of American success previously possessed only by its white ruling class, has by now devolved into an exhibitionist trope. And just like the generations before them, today’s youth seeks to emulate the behavior of their favorite musicians. Every middle-schooler knows what it means to “flex” and there is no shortage of eleven-year-olds begging their mommies for the next pair of Travis Scott Dunks.

Hype culture is uniquely positioned to tap into the narcissistic world order by creating artificial scarcity and equating the possession of limited edition goods with self-worth. Conspicuous consumption is the defining consumer behavior of the day, but underneath its hood purrs the motor of narcissism turbocharged by a culture that has given us Donald Trump and Kanye West, two narcissists par excellence. Both are incredibly insecure and both – despite being on top of the world – constantly crave adulation and approval of others (West’s narcissism may be further complicated by his alleged bipolar disorder). And both are aided and abetted by their respective fan bases that readily forgive their transgressions thereby enabling them further. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that hip-hop fans seem to be especially tolerant towards narcissistic behavior of musicians, even when it’s misogynistic or generally sadistic.

Before you roll your eyes at my perceived alarmism that Grailed is poisoning the minds of a generation, consider that in this state of affairs no one is innocent. Study after study shows that despite economic progress and general increase in quality of life, members of contemporary society feel more and more unhappy. Other studies show that social media, Instagram in particular, have a negative effect on self-esteem that stems from the permeating feeling of anxiety and envy. Simply put, you can flex all you want, but there will always be someone with a bigger flex. And once you are on the hype treadmill, its very nature makes it hard to get off.

“In [the hype] world narcissists festoon themselves with the latest sneakers, or the latest streetwear, and in that moment they are safe. But then that moment when the world is telling you that you are great, which for the narcissist is better than drugs, is gone and you continue chasing the high,” said Dr. Ramani. On top of this, the culture of narcissism makes one feel inadequate for not owning something. “The entire way fashion is marketed is that if you don’t have that latest something, you are lacking,” continued Dr. Ramani.

Likes don’t make you happy. Not only that, it increasingly seems that possessions in themselves don’t make you happy either, as evidenced by rampant reselling in the streetwear world. Hypebeasts no longer seem to be able to experience the gratifying sense of ownership that comes with purchasing something meaningful and actually keeping it. Resell culture itself is a product of narcissism, because each sale subsidizes the next purchase and creates the social media illusion that one owns more than one actually does. This practice strips the product down only to being fodder for a fit pic, and essentially creates a short-term rental culture driven by Instagram and Stockx. As Lasch put it, late capitalism “subordinates possession itself to appearance and measures exchange value as a commodity’s capacity to confer prestige – the illusion of prosperity and well-being.”

The antidote to narcissism is authenticity, which is a deeper sense of self that provides an anchoring of one’s character that doesn’t change with trends. In matters of taste, authenticity also furnishes one with a clear sense of style. Authenticity forms over time through a series of experiences and experimentations, which is why we probably see the new fashion fans bought forth by hype culture getting younger and younger.

As productive conversations about mental health grow, so too are we now coming to terms with how we as a society are less and less happy. Narcissism has a large role to play here. As our sense of self-gratification keeps on infinitely expanding, our capacity to form lasting, meaningful relationships with other humans is degrading. The millennial marketing world’s incessant calls to “live your best life” are misguided in pegging our sense of self-worth to wrong types of rewards, fleeting and material. Underneath all the talk about inspiration, community, and culture sits a basic set of transactional relationships, whose real message is not “love yourself,” but “treat yourself.”

When Covid-19 hit, some predicted a return to a more substantive world, in which our collective narcissistic drive would be diminished. In fact, in a study done by Highsnobiety in the wake of the shelter in place orders, the readers interviewed overwhelmingly denounced their interest in logos and other markers of conspicuous consumption, instead claiming a newfound interest in minimalism and quality-oriented purchase decisions. Two-thirds of those polled that they actively felt bad about flexing outwardly with their purchases during a time when millions were tightening their belts.

However, long-term this could be more wishful thinking rather than a real change, and we continue to see the same pre-Covid behavior with each hyped release. Less than two weeks ago the new Off-White x Jordan drop caused yet another mad dash. The Atlanta streetwear store Wish received over 60,000 hits to its website within the first couple of seconds after the 10 a.m. scheduled release. Its website crashed, as did the websites of Nike and Off-White. “We would’ve needed servers the size of Coca-Cola’s to handle that much traffic,” said Wish’s representative.

We often talk about streetwear in terms of “the culture.” But in the last decade this term went from describing subcultural movements and their values to excusing run-of-the-mill consumerist behavior. Brands, many of which are the ones screaming loudest about “the culture,” don’t mind this state of affairs at all because it propels the hype bullet train, enriching them along the way. The thing is, happy people are not good for the system. Dr. Ramani sums it up best: “Capitalism would fall apart tomorrow if everyone on the planet was secure in themselves.”

[the-art-of-animated-gifs]

Interview with Wavegrower (Frédéric Vayssouze-Faure)

Wavegrower (Frédéric Vayssouze-Faure) is one of the great gif artists of what could be called the ‘Tumblr’ era of gif art from about 2011-2017.  His work is ubiquitous and his influence on gif artists today is profound.  He took the time to answer questions I sent him and apologized for his English (which is lucid and clear) and the lack of new work (I am deeply grateful for the beautiful work he has already given us).

Note:  He includes many examples with links,  Make sure to follow them!

Where are you from?  

I'm from France. Were you educated in the arts? 

I'm self-educated in art in general, and music theory in particular. As a former engineer I studied math in a quite high level, what brought me to be aware of the beauty of structures and correspondences : what is common between this and that, why does this sound or look better than that, what is a piece made of : layers, patterns... Where do you live now? 

I live in the city of Cahors, France. What do you do for a living?

I'm a math teacher, also getting few royalties for animations I've made for a mobile app. Why did you start making gifs? 

I started making gifs when discovering the existence of Tumblr and the work of David Szakaly a.k.a. dvdp in 2014. GIF appeared to be a good format to develop an audience and continue my own creative coding work in a new direction. Why do you continue to make gifs?

Actually I've just had a one year break because of a professional exam I've prepared and passed. Nevertheless I've continued to make gif from 2014 to 2018  for the reason I never felt to get out of inspiration and progress. Getting many followers and positive feedback also pushed me to carry on. 

How has your approach to gif making evolved?

First I've learnt to deal with gif format specificities to get the best results in terms of file size, which is the major limitation for web displaying. I also gradually made my code evolve and grow to enrich my potentialities through the use of 3D, inheritance, recursivity, fractals, noise... It has made my pieces getting more and more deep, full, complex.  This is a constant evolution you can see in the archive page of my blog. What tools do you use to create your gifs? 

I use Processing to code and render png frames, then Gimp to optimize and make it a gif. How has that evolved?

Before doing gifs, I was making animations in flash/actionscript. Then I started to use Maya/MEL to deal with 3D. One day a popular gif artist called p5artand coding with Processing reblogged a gif of mine, thinking it was made that way. Many Processing coders started to follow my blog. So I tried to remake the piece with that language, in the idea of sharing the code to show gratitude. Then I realized it was very best suited for what I intended to do (basically making innumerable dots move in harmony the way I want) and started to built a growing personal tool for this, taking advantage of Object-oriented programming which allows in particular to group elements and easily apply to them the same transformations you can apply to one of them (concretely putting a loop inside a loop).   Why is looping important?

Looping is just fundamental, so deeply part of our world that we don't even mention it. It is related to many other words which describe the same phenomenon : wave, pulsation, cycle, rhythm, oscillation, vibration, beating, spin, undulation, frequency... Mathematically speaking, its all about periodic functions (returning to the same value every time) and above all the sine function, smoothest cyclic motion ever, from which every other can be generated by summation with multiple frequencies (Fourier theory). Looping is everywhere in real life : breathing, heart beating, walking, swimming, love making, wing flapping, baby rocking, ripples, wind in trees, day and night, seasons, planets orbit and spin, sound at many levels (rhythm , frequencies, structures), light, ... I guess that's why contemplating or experimenting a loop make you feel something. Looping being at the heart of my code (the first Class I coded was called Oscillator) and then at the heart of my work, that explain why many people find my gifs relaxing, especially people who do  stimming, like autist people, from which I've got a positive feedback.

How have you seen gifs change since you started making them?

I'm not a gif pioneer so gifs haven't changed so much since I started I guess. Maybe gif art got a bit out of the underground this past years through the expansion of social media featuring gif artists, review from art blogs and gif art festivals. Do you think gifs are a unique art form?

Gif can be seen as a medium encompassing many different styles and art form  (generative, cinemagraph, glitch, vaporwave, surrealism, minimalism, ...), but for me it's an art form by itself regarding its own characteristics, which make it unique at several levels.  First regarding the way people experience it : easy to share, fast to display, light, autolaunching, autolooping, simple as haikus but with a high attractivity in many different potential ways : mindblowing, mesmerizing, relaxing, clever, funny... The fact that it loops is also major, making gifs very pleasant to watch with a musical background, especially when tempos match, and letting the viewers take the time they want to be penetrated and aware of every details and questioning.  

Technically speaking it also has constraints that every gif artist has to deal with and share with other gif artists, and which may influence the art process, in particular to be as light as possible for a fast displaying, requiring to evaluate the cost of every frame, taking into account that in gif format every pixel which stays the same from on frame to another is counted for one. An interesting challenge may be then to produce long looping gifs that remain light (like this one or that one). 

Another important feature that gif artists share is the perfect loop requirement, not easy to achieve, and leading to clever tricks which make gifs seem to be longer than its real loop period (like this one). For me, unless there is a good reason, a gif that doesn't perfectly loop is not a proper one. And I'm very fond and impressed by cinemagraph artists who make perfect looping animations from movies or nature.

[princepestilence]

2017 in review.

Answering the questions from this post. 

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

A lot of things! I tutored a class for the first time, I lectured for the first time, I went to conferences for the first time, I ran a symposium for the first time, I went to a slam poetry event for the first time, I caught a bus to Canberra for the first time, I used a dating app for the first time (then quit like three weeks later), I saw a stage-play of Dracula for the first time, I went to my university’s queer space for the first time, I didn’t see my other family for Christmas for the first time, I played D&D for the first time. 

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Some of them. I never expect to keep all of them, because if something was easy to do, you wouldn’t need to make it a resolution. What matters is trying to keep as many as you can each month. By doing that, I’ve made a lot of positive changes to my life over the years. I’ll be continuing my tradition of monthly resolutions next year: they’re important to me. 

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Truthfully, I’m very lucky in what I have: there’s not a lot I want, materially. Things I wish for are usually riffs on the theme of “a lot less brain nonsense, please.” But to answer in the spirit of the question, I think the one big thing that I feel there’s space for in my life is a partner I love. I’ve been thinking lately that I’d sort of like a new crush for the new year, and honestly finding someone to date who I really like and get along with and can consider a future with would be wonderful--especially since sometimes it feels impossible (see above: brain nonsense, among other things). I think I’m ready and in a good place to actually give it a really good try now, though, if the stars align right, so from here, it’s in the universe’s hands to bring a kind, clever, interesting person into my orbit. (Wish on a star for me).

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

It’s a metaphysical thing, but the person I am now is an achievement on the person I started the year as, and that change is the thing I’m most proud of, which I think is how achievement should be measured. 

What was your biggest failure?

Earlier in the year if you asked me, I would have said, “Not being good enough.” I still often don’t feel “good enough” but I’m better at not immediately believing that feeling as real. That said, I think my biggest failure is that I’m still so quick to compare myself to others, to the detriment of myself--by making myself feel bad for not being as good as/better than these people, and/or by resenting them and feeling intimidated by their success/cleverness/perceived betterness. I hope in the new year I can learn to be satisfied with who I am and how I am enough to celebrate the excellence of others, without ever having that shadow of worry about myself or thoughts of competition. 

What was the best thing you bought?

My new bed! A couple of months ago, I moved into my ex-roommate’s room (which is larger than my old one) and I could finally fit in a bigger, more comfortable bed, so I got one. I love it. 

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The slam poetry national final at the Opera House! I went to Sydney by myself for the evening, and it was a really amazing event. Other things included: the monster conference, the Patricia Piccinini exhibition at the gallery, the Cuphead release day.

What song will always remind you of 2017?

Hard Times, by Paramore. 

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Work. Specifically: writing my dissertation. Holy hell. It’s not a disaster that I didn’t do as much this year as I had intended to--especially since I used my time doing other useful, important, enriching things--but I am annoyed with myself for being so... chaotic with my work. I want to be someone who follows a neat schedule, who keeps tidy notes, who sits down and writes the same amount every day, but I am not that person and I’m not sure if I can ever make myself be that person. I feel that being me the way I am makes everything much more stressful (and, frankly, less aesthetic) than it has to be. 

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Downward spirals. I’m just so over it all. It wastes so much time, so much energy, so much feeling, for no purpose at all. 

Did you fall in love in 2017?

I sort of fell out of it, actually. (Although, for the record, I personally believe that “in love” is the specific experience of two--or more, I guess--people who are mutually constructing that space together. You can’t be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, so. I was never in love, so much as hoping to be in love. Then I fell out of the hope of it).

What was your favourite TV program?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a strong contender, but because the theme of these questions is 2017, I’m going to say it’s knocked out on the grounds of being something I watched and loved before this year started. The real answer--using the criteria of “favourite that was first watched this year”--is probably Please Like Me or Takin’ Over The Asylum. 

What was the best book you read?

It’s hard to remember everything I’ve read this year! But I think that Sara Ahmed’s Living a Feminist Life is probably the one that would take out the title on the most fronts. It’s very good and very much something I feel everyone should attempt reading.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don’t know about “discovery,” but I’ve listened to a lot of Dessa this year. And Hozier. And Benjamin Clementine’s song Nemesis.

What did you want and get?

Cuphead! But it was an agonising three-day wait before I could actually get it, because Microsoft for whatever foolish reason wouldn’t let me buy it and instead decided to crash and die every time I attempted to give them money. For three days! It was excruciating. 

What did you want and not get?

There’s this one person I really want to talk to me and it hasn’t happened yet. 

What was your favourite film of this year?

The best one was probably Hidden Figures! I don’t know if it’s my absolute favourite of all films I watched this year, but it was definitely excellent and I can still remember enjoying it a lot even though it was months ago. 

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went to the night viewing of the Patricia Piccinini exhibition in Canberra for my birthday, which was super cool. I’ve loved her work since I found out about it back in high school art class, but this was the first time I saw it for myself in person. 

What kept you sane?

Regular journalling and monthly visits to my beloved long-time therapist, to be quite honest. That’s my secret. 

Who did you miss?

I’ve been thinking a lot about old friends this year and people I haven’t been in touch with for a long time. I miss them. I miss some of them an awful lot. 

Who was the best new person you met?

My new supervisor/mentor/academic mum! I didn’t meet her until the beginning of this year, but she’s become so important to me and I admire her so much and I love talking to her about anything. She inspires me and I want to be like her when I grow up. 

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.

It’s sort of life lessons all the way down, given everything that’s been going on this year, but perhaps the single most powerful sentence someone said to me directly, which has been echoing in my head for months now, is: you deserve more than scraps of love. I think that’s relevant to everyone. I think believing we are worth more and deserve more is the first step towards living like it’s true. 

[samuelfields]

How Uber Sold The False Dream Of Riches And Enriched Itself Instead

My first tip

The sun was just starting to peek over the mountains so I pulled over to stretch my legs. It was 6 am.

I had only been driving for about an hour, but I had never come to this part of the Bay Area before. Right over the Golden Gate Bridge and down towards Stinson Beach I had dropped off a passenger.

Perhaps it was his “ride of shame” after a late night of partying? Or maybe he was going to some secret yoga studio retreat before the stock market opened at 6:30 am. As an Uber driver, what my passengers did at unusual hours was always left up to the imagination.

The Beginning Of Uber

In 2015, I was unemployed, childless and had a lot of time on my hands. After spending 13 years waking up by 5 am working in finance, I often found myself twiddling my thumbs for several hours before my wife woke up.

She was the night owl and I was the morning lark. To fill my time, I would write on Financial Samurai just as I still do today.

But as I read more and more about people’s experiences making extra money driving for Uber, I just had to try it myself. After all, I was based in San Francico and Uber was founded in San Francisco.

Uber touted that I would be my own boss, drive whenever I wanted, and make a lot of money. Further, they offered me a $500 sign up bonus. Sounded good to me!

Everything counted towards my laser focus of building enough passive income so that both my wife and I could avoid full-time work forever. Besides, I knew there would be stories to write from my experience.

Got lured into signing up in 2015 w/ my old leased car named Rhino

In the beginning, I was excited about my new hustle. My two public park tennis teammates were making about $30-$40/hour driving.

I figured if I could make $90 – $120 by the time my wife woke up, I could make enough for the day to at least pay for food and entertainment for the both of us.

Further, I’m always encouraging readers to start a side hustle. It was only logical to try driving for Uber myself and report back my findings to help others make an informed choice.

Until this day, I still clearly remember my very first Uber passenger. She had flown in from Denver and I dropped her off at a random warehouse somewhere south of the city. She hinted at meeting up after she was done, but I politely declined.

As Uber kept touting the benefits of driving on their platform and as I got savvier as a driver, the more hooked I became. Instead of giving just one ride as some do as a PR stunt, I wanted to give at least 100 rides to make my experience statistically significant.

I learned various strategies to sometimes boost my hourly rate to $45-$50. Then I realized I could make even more if I referred drivers to sign up using my online platform. I even signed up my wife and drove as her to get the $500 bonus!

With experience, I started getting overconfident about how much I could make.

The Beginning Of The Decline

After about six months of driving, I began to notice my hourly rate had started to decline. No matter how strategic I was in terms of driving during maximum surge pricing, sometime in early 2016 it became rare for me to breach the $30/hour earnings threshold.

It was like deja vu all over again, where the better I performed while working in finance, the less I got paid. All anybody really wants is a correlation with effort and reward. It was clear after so many price cuts, driving for Uber became less profitable.

Then I noticed that driver referral payouts were starting to decline as well. Instead of making $500 – $1,000 per referral for drivers who completed 25 rides on the platform, the payouts decreased to $50 – $100 per referral and qualification eligibility increased to 50 – 100 rides.

Back when payouts were good

My dreams of making six figures on my driving and referral side hustle started to fade.

But what irked me most was not the declining payouts, given the market is rational and nobody forced me to do anything for Uber. What irked me more was some of the people I met at Uber corporate.

Three fellow drivers and I were invited to Uber headquarters as a “reward” for being such great drivers and referrers.

I went because I was curious to visit their offices and to get free food. I was also actually hoping they’d be awarding us with some type of incentive or monetary bonus for being such great “partners” as they called us.

What a disappointment. The free food turned out to be water and cold pizza. I felt like prey lured into a trap by hunters. Their real purpose was to pick our brains and try to learn how Uber could replicate our success across its driving platform.

One guy just came in for 20 minutes and rudely left after he got what he wanted from us. I felt used. We were used.

Here we drivers were, a Black guy, a couple Hispanic guys, and an Asian guy talking to six White women and an Asian guy who all went to private schools. The contrast was stark as only I went to college, and a public one at that. They continuously peppered us with questions about how to be better drivers.

And do you know why they peppered us with questions?

Because none of them had ever driven before! You would think that one of the best ways to improve your driving platform is to actually experience for yourself what it’s like to be a driver. It’s not as though they were making some product that required a PhD in chemistry.

When I asked them why they didn’t just spend some of their work hours driving themselves, none of them responded. One might have even snickered.

It was as if they were too rich or too privileged to do the very job that was going to make them rich.

I’m not a fan of people who think they are better than others or too good for some type of work just because of their fancy backgrounds.

This experience was the beginning of the end for my enthusiasm for Uber.

When I then saw Uber roll out its predatory car leasing program to keep drivers enslaved, I finally deleted my driver app for good.

Uber Culture Is Rough

From my one meeting at its headquarters, I’m not going to generalize all Uber corporate employees as rich clueless people who take advantage of others. That would be unfair as I’ve met several fine Uber corporate employees as well.

But what I will say is that if you’ve never gotten your hands dirty by working a close to minimum wage job, especially in the service sector, you have no idea how hard it is to make a living in such professions. You will likely take for granted how good you have it too.

By the time I stopped driving in mid-2016, my hourly wage after taxes and expenses was only around $15. During the process of giving over 500 rides, my car had been barfed in and nicked up.

I had also encountered several incredibly snooty passengers once Uber Pool was introduced. It seems as if people who spend the least on a product are often the worst behaved.

A firm’s culture starts at the top. And it was clear from Uber’s sexual harassment lawsuit and multiple complaints that Uber had a culture problem. It had grown accustomed to treating people poorly in general, not just its contractors, due to its growth.

Below is a recent example of Uber’s culture from a guy who led some of Uber’s rider growth teams from 2015-2018. He’s now a VC at Andreessen Horowitz.

Instead of calling the people who helped make you rich “underclass,” it’s probably better to simply say “thank you.”

Let’s try to humble ourselves as soon as we start believing we’re hot stuff. It’s very easy to confuse our success with our own abilities, rather than being fortunate to hop on a train that was going somewhere.

Uber Millions And Billions

At the end of the day, Uber has improved the quality of lives for millions of consumers, which is why the company is able to raise billions in an IPO and value itself at close to $100 billion.

None of us ever want to go back to paying 3X more for a taxi that never comes. Having the ability to get a variety of food using Uber Eats is great too.

It is also true that driving and delivery for Uber are choices. Nobody is forcing people to work for close to minimum wage or less while simultaneously risking a situation where one accident can wipe out a month’s worth of profits.

Even if Uber continues to lose $1.8 billion a year as it did in 2018, its IPO will fund them for at least another five years.

I just ask the thousands of Uber and Lyft employees who are now millionaires and billionaires to not forget about the people you used to help make you rich.

If you aren’t at least thankful, you might one day find yourself stuck in a pickle with nobody willing to pick you up.

Final Takeaways From Uber

1) To get rich, you must sell people the dream to work for you while giving them little-to-no equity. Work on your selling skills. Work on building your own equity.

2) While trying to convince your underpaid contractors that you are doing them a favor, work on new innovation like self-driving cars so that when your contractors finally revolt, you’ve got your bases covered.

3) Excess profits are always eventually competed away. Therefore, to make the most money, you must be an early adopter. Drivers in 2013 made way more money than drivers today. Of course, the same goes for Uber’s corporate employees. Practice recognizing opportunity.

4) Don’t be too proud to get rich. Do what you must to provide for your family. I don’t care if people online make fun of me for only making $1,100/month as an assistant high school tennis coach or when I gave hundreds of rides one year. It is because of these experiences that I’ve continued to grow and appreciate what I have.

5) No matter how successful you become, try to stay grounded. If you don’t, you will eventually be eaten alive.

6) Even better than grinding away at Uber corporate is being an early investor. Make your capital work hard for you so you don’t have to.

Readers, any of you work for Uber or know people who work at Uber? How was/is the experience? What will you be doing with your financial windfall? Any new side hustles we should be aware of?

The post How Uber Sold The False Dream Of Riches And Enriched Itself Instead appeared first on Financial Samurai.

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[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Saw a tag game that was “unconventional tags”, and I was going to reblog but I wound up having TOO MANY tags per prompt! 

So out of sheer curiosity, I’m going to share what The Entire Selection of Tags with “chocolate”, “kill”, “done”, “try”, “stop”, and “why” is in this post! (Be warned: There are MANY and I only remember the context for about a quarter of these. I was able to dig up 92 tags for “why” alone. But I’m rather curious and analytical, so of course I’d tag a lot of Why’s...... anyways! Here goes! It is LONG.)

Lots of personal considerations, a hefty dose of OC and Titans-related fandom tags, 

Chocolate:

#(but like... chocolate AND cherries....~<33333 )

#I wonder if I could use gluten-free oreos (i.e. ''''chocolate sandwich cookies'''') as the crust instead.... ooooh i'm gonna try that!!

#but I've never had to buy anything and try to sell it besides... like. Malley's Chocolate Bars and other such candy bar fundraisers.

#i was at work for 12 hours but then I got home and went ''FUCK IT'' and ate some chocolate cake and a bagel with eggs???

#Dove will bring her a cup of tea or hot chocolate and sit with her for awhile. Maybe talk through some things with her.

#PB+chocolate can be either GREAT or /awful/ depending on the brand.

#Dark chocolate is more of a Dry and Astringent Texture thing for me.

#It's as essential in my plot ideas as chocolate is in hot chocolate. Just can't possibly make it without it.

#anyways: Peanut butter + chocolate is good. I like the fancy hazelnut spreads with peanut butter swirls.

#Mint+chocolate is good as Andes mints but bad as peppermint patties. Again; it depends on the brand. LOVE it in ice cream!

#i'm suddenly reminded that i bought myself an entire whole-ass chocolate silk pie Because I Wanted It SO BAD

Kill:

#nice to know the life skills i learned at chipotle haven't left me. 8FFFFF

#And I've always obsessively cataloged knowledge of canon. so when I found out all of Raven's half-siblings were killed (or their mothers)?

#Kary has a fairly good Innate sense of direction. but she had to develope a Real Skill for it when she was living feral.

#not the ''i'm gonna kill my favorite protagonist'' part but like. the emotional Twist there

#Anyways any and all Shakespeare except Midsummer Night's Dream bored me to hell. To Kill a Mockingbird INFURIATED me.

#SECONDING The Great Gatsby. I also really hated the ending of To Kill a Mockingbird. The story itself was good but that ending?

#Well I guess he GOT TO KILL HIM AFTER ALL now DIDN'T he

#''DON'T KILL IT I'LL GET IT OUTSIDE IT'S OKAY''

#kill mary-sue witch hunt culture! KILL IT DEAD

#it's Ten Percent Luck and Twenty percent skill if you're referencing the song I think you are but i see your point

#I have a 0.07 skill level when it comes to Playing By Ear and chords. But this is LOVELY so far even if it IS simplified

#it's okay you can say Kill la Kill

#excuse me as I kill my throat from gasp-laughing too harsadddnamfwje

#it wasn't until i literally shouted at a doctor that I was going to kill myself if they couldn't help me that someone actually DID SOMETHING

#you could never kill me in a way that matters

#he's also the only one who Actually tried to kill the Joker. so.......

#did you know bugs feel A Jolt of Pain when you kill them? I don't know what the heck the science-y anatomical cause of that is

#kill the idea that yelling/screaming is Normal and Healthy! Because it's not! It's absolutely NOT.

#But yeah! There's no better way to learn a skill than looking to the people who have already mastered the skills you want to learn.

#''Are you really willing to kill the next George Floyd; the next Breonna Taylor; the next Tamir Rice?''

#those herbs DON'T KILL VIRUSES like alcohol does!!

#''what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'' yeah but it leaves you with Serious Vulnerabilities that you have to spend your

#''Lots of villains.'' ''I will KILL YOU boy!'' GODS

Done:

#for me/aries it's much more the ''i want to fix it then and there and then it's done'' but really I don't play the blame game.

#seriously they've done SO MANY studies on creative hobbies and there are generations of stories from people who've had them

#so really nothing gets DONE about the diagnosis? but he gets Super Curious and reads a TON of articles and studies and books about it

#But let's take stock of how many times I've already done this shall we?~

#nicely done though??

#I can Never Get ENough of writers who've done as much off-novel characterization as Neil and Sir Terry have done with Good Omens

#That was REALLY well done as far as a Mind Games sort of horror story goes

#You shouldn't expect people who have Done a Lot of Growth and Shown a Lot of Potnetial to ForeveR Hide and Eradicate Their Past.

#this webcomic isn't my style personally but it IS really well done and I recommend it to anyone who likes the above things!

#with the tags out of the way: THAT'S BECAUSE 9/!! was PLAYED to THEIR BENEFIT (or: possibly even done by the govt themselves)

#and they pay shit and work us to the bone because they won't staff. But this post is... PROOF that it can be done BETTER.

#''i was born on the way home from the gym and then I will be able to get it done before the end of the day''

#!!! This made ms so HAPPY to see! Pink's speech patterns being recognized and analyzed was... not something i'd ever done before?

#I have to have some things done before my executive dysfunction will let me engage in other tasks or else I get like.... gridlocked?

#kpop fans get things DONE don't DOUBT them

#I have a LOT of trouble recalling when something was Done First or Subsequently. And I absolutely CAN NOT remember dates.

#It's human to need help sometimes and with all you've done for your loved ones

#and once THAT'S done I should be able to post the chapter!!! Which... given that I'm not absolutely mentally exhausted from work anymore

#I can't IMAGINE what I'd have done if I suddenly lost ALL of them and had to fight on alone.......................

#AHHH the idea of Damian adopting a rabbit! And Raven petting it! (house bunny because I refuse to condone illegal wildlife theft)

#they've done it! they've broken my fanfics down to the bare essentials!

#to do so when I see people like this. I'm done letting people back me into a corner and forcing me to cower.

#and between all the reading I've done on humanized superheroes and this show: I know that's basically my favorite trope.

#Enrichment Done Right!!

#Teaching done RIGHT!

#I'll admit: I'm curious to see how Gabriel and Kami actually describe their relationship? Because when it's built up properly and done RIGHT

#okay so I've done some research and this seems to be ACcepted on reddit but Hotly Debated everywhere else

#and it wasn't until Last Year and my sister that I trusted with it was a cosmetologist-- after I'd done SO MUCH work on healing from abuse

#It was the first forest that ever opened its heart to me. The only one that has done so as thoroughly....

#I have written like three quarter-done sex scenes but always drop off it before I get ot the Really Porny Parts because No Interest

#seriously they've done SO MANY studies on creative hobbies and there are generations of stories from people who've had them

#But let's take stock of how many times I've already done this shall we?~

#nicely done though??

#the things she had ACTUALLY said or done to me. Telling them the way she hurt me.

#have you... have you never done that???

#...hmmm... I like the Battle Cry idea. I don't know what my own creaming sounds like though. I've never... done that.

#I can Never Get ENough of writers who've done as much off-novel characterization as Neil and Sir Terry have done with Good Omens

#i scored 33-actually-34 though. the ones i missed were the mother-daughters-grandmothers one-- which I still think it Done Wrong

#can confirm that you Do Get Way More Done when you're well-rested.

#nimue's not driving but she's already so done with it

#it could probably only be done When Angry.

Try:

#i went wild with google translate and ecosia and every search engine i could find TRYING to TRANSLATE ''cotorrito''

#If we're going to take on these forces of arrogance and bigotry: We have to stand UNITED. TOGETHER!

#poetry

#country

#pastry

#And for some reason everyone fucking LOVES it. I know it was an instrumental step in my poetry as it is NOW

#but I know that in poetry after a rhyme happens then te next line is Likely to start a new thought.

#''you're a deep thinker of deep thoughts a reader of poetry and a HEAVY user of your notes app.

#take this quite literally. because the one time i did try asking my STEPmother what was wrong she wound up screaming at me.

#I don't usually watch tiktoks but the comments convinced me to give this one a try and yes. this one Deserved It.

#my mother and I driving around country backroads trying to avoid the highways at midnight on July 4th

#I was going to try buying a gift card but i think that would be cheating a legit business owner out of money and I'm not about that.

#i refuse to give her a tag of her own. i know she Contributed^tm and technically it's not 'bad' poetry but I'm just not a fan personally

#is what I consider to be MY WORST POEM. It even got published in a goddamn poetry collection! What the FUCK.

#actually put your body into starvation mode. And what does the body do when it's starving? TRY DESPERATELY to HOLD ON

#~!America is the Best Country Ever!~ NO ''BEST'' ANYTHING would allow ANY human being to be treated like THAT!

#But the idea is to try finding those things and explore them. Make it fun! MAke it spooky! Make it exciting! Make it startling!

#i'd also have to try finding a time to watch it when someone else in the family isn't already monopolizing the TV....

#(because i'd.... really love to try holding and playing one of these of my own someday.)

#about living a monk-like life? i'd give it a goddamn try if i got literally ANY paid vacation time and had the money to fly to tibet...)

#.....from certain pizza places? I would try it.

#so like. Too LAte ot try it at THIS job

#Not just in stories either; do actually try it someday

#In this country it's basically Impossible to become ANY kind of politician without being am illionaire. Like it's Literally IMPOSSIBLE.

#Like... the thrift store industry is BOOMING right now because a lot of us are Too Poor to Buy Anything Else.

#''bitch TRY it i DARE you''

#sometimes you gotta get it out somehow and a journal entry just doesn't cut it

#i actually only know two lines out of the refrain of that song. But damn if I'm not going to try LEARNING it someday

#i've heard d+ shuts down accounts if you try logging in from new devices (such as my laptop) lately

#...huh. I haven't found a lot of country music before the 90's so I don't know how I feel about this.

#but i definitely agree with the Reasons People ''Hate Country Music Today''.

#(but also The country music style of singing feels like someone is using a cheese grater on my brain. I just... don't enjoy that;;)

#(''lyrics'' referring to the 90s/00s country music I know of. and know i can't stand.)

#(tagged as such because ONE DAY I really REALLY want to try my hand at a Big Gorgeous Absolutely Breathtaking Fish Tank!)

#Oooh I'm definitely going to incorporate that ''try not to leave the room'' when cleaning thing!

#i wish my stories could do that? someday. Someday maybe.... I'll try one of these days.

#Sigh... the Artistry of this crew.

#i can't believe i'm living in the most ragged-on state in the more ragged-on COUNTRY of the entire internet.

#most of the time the people who have the easiest time contacting spirits didn't try or ask for it. The spirits just kinda.... Found Them

#He has the skills necessary to cook. Just not... the Sense of Taste. He has the Artistry part down! Just not the Accuracy.

#((and i have to try REALLY HARD to get an image of what it Looks Like. except in very Rare and Special Moments.

#I'm not usually one for visuals but this quick animation is GORGEOUS and I can't tell you how TEMPTED I've been to try recreating it.

#and Leyla as a kid just wants to TRY STUFF

#i saw amy's shoulders sparkling and i was like! ''i LOVE that. i'd love to try some fairy-goth myself someday''

#Neurochemistry stuff!!

#why is his reaction so aNGRY honestly that was a REAL ACCOMPLISHMENT and some serious artistry she pulled off!

#try swarming a stun deck with THIS on the field. o.o

#tell me what i can tag this because it's absolutely fucking ABYSSMAL of our country to ALLOW this and absolutely FUCK anyone who says

#i'm gonna...... try that popcon one though

#(because my job has me outside in it for at least 3 hours a day no matter what medical history i try to show them)

#might have to try this....

#i'm gonna Try to sleep but i know my hyperficating nexus-steeped mind isn't gonna quiet down very quickly 8O

#for the record i did TRY using the Boolean Operator  syntax with ''low'' blood pressure in quotes. but it STILL gave me articles

#Raven: immediately Exhausts Herself to Hell to Try Undoing It

#yes i'm going to overanalyze and try understand every accusation of Ohio on my dashboard. why do you ask?

#i'm gonna... Try Wearing Make-Up!

#is it weird that i use almistry when drawing my ocs' hands?

#a little piece of her childhood home and her ancestry when the rest of the world and its people died.

#She might be a little embarrassed to share her poetry with people? I think she's pretty good at writing pretty words

#Or... if you feel so inclined: poetry you've written yourself?

Stop:

#but BY ALL the GODS can we STOP mocking and hating the people who DO have all these grand and lofty ambitions?

#stop blaming millennials for our shitty circumstances challenge.

#note to self: stop frekaing FORGETTING to schedule with a GE again!!! fuck's sake!

#stop being elitist because something's Different. it has its merits and it's not meant to be an International Film-Festival Masterpiece.

#(i did a Lot of stupid things at that house actually. there was a reason i stopped working with raphael......)

#except once i got the add diagnosis my teacher stopped commenting on my doodling.

#that cloak was the PERFECT compromise. It kept me a Little Warmer without getting too hot AND did a great job of stopping the too-cold wind~

#we stopped going to the daycare.. (And i know that because i got it for my 5th birthday. i was ENAMORED IMMEDIATELY)

#i've always read it the same way and didn't notice Why Everyone Stopped Liking Her but that also brought that particular Change to light...

#but on the other hand she Literally Accidentally Stopped Time... (And i have this... headcanon? let's call it a headcanon

#for something like stopping the end of  the world: Who (at least: who among HEROES) WOULDN'T put that to use?

#my all-time FAVORITE that I will NEVER skip a song from is Evanescence. HAs been for like 15 years now and that's not stopping.

#i don't foresee this rambling stopping for another 3 days tbh

#creepy guys try to follow you off your stop and get your number no matter how many times (with increasing ferocity) you tell them no.

#but can this fandom stop acting like pink intentionally hurt everyone for like 7 seconds???

#also if you're as powerful as zee it probably comes second-nature so why WOULDN'T you throw it around to stop an argument?

#it's an even split on how many people are willing to stop and talk to you. about one in ten will just outright ignore you if you say Hi

#why not stop at home and drop him off first? why send him into freaking SPACE???

#Don't stop believing. Don't stop moving forward. Don't let depression drag you down.

#do nothing but yell at you and tell you to calm down or shut up or Stop Being Yourself.

#i'm gonna stop before i suffocate on silent laughter but Wow This Is Good

#i can't tell you how many doctors i've been to that literally told me to stop crying when i Became Distressed from relating my symptoms...

#which i don't appreciate! brain stop calling me a wuss

#how do you... Stop Doing That?

#Stop Erasing Raven's Strengths!! Stop making her a stereotypical sitcom caricature! LET RAVEN BE SASSY

#Can people PLEASE stop equating the two things that don't necessarily (or often) go hand in hand?

#they're ALREADY filthy rich just stop fucking catering to them???

#and whenever I went to the bus stop for those mornings: I cawed to him. And rather than flying away as soon as he saw me

#Petition to make the fandom stop forgetting that Blue has a FIERCE side TOO

#i wish this freaking show would stop goddamn KILLING PEOPLE

#i can't stop giggling at that last gif though. oh my stars that's Great

#i... don't want to tag him ''bakura'' anymore because STOP GIVING HIM RYOU'S IDENTITY but at the same time... what ELSE do you call him??

#night-terrors/flashbacks / whatever? She will literally stop herself from sleeping.

#sorry i've made so many posts about this; I just! I can't stop HYPERFIXATING on this ONE DETAIL.

#like I was the kid who'd CRY when someone ripped wings off flies or legs off spiders. ''Stop it that HURTS!''

#but i tend to stop in the middle of books i'm not invested in. which is happening more and more often.

#She'll stop immediately and be like ''okay! let's talk about something else than!!''

#(a terrified telepath is twice as dangerous when she's unconscious and Can't Stop It. She knows that. So when she's having bouts of

#oh STOP it that was sweet!

#i mean you can't stop kids from seeing EVERYTHING. But we should at least be TRYING to protect them. You know?

#trying to help me figure out how to cope. basically everyone was like ''there's no way you don't notice three hours passing stop lying''

#oh my GOD I'm LAUGHING there are tEARS IN MY EYES I just!! I'm DEFINITELY imagining them and I can't STOP LAUGHING OKAY

#How do you stop looking back?

#(And then the night my spirit guide told me to stop LETTING myself be defined by her and that I can rise above my past and my parents...)

#but BY ALL the GODS can we STOP mocking and hating the people who DO have all these grand and lofty ambitions?

#Don't stop believing. Don't stop moving forward. Don't let depression drag you down.

#Stop Erasing Raven's Strengths!! Stop making her a stereotypical sitcom caricature! LET RAVEN BE SASSY

#There's SO MUCH in the Society6 store and all of it is GORGEOUS. I had to physically hold my hands to my chest to stop myself

#How do you.... Stop Needing the Sugar to Function though? I've tried like 4 adhd meds and they all have Awful Side Effects for me. :c

#for the record: salem was really more of just a stop on a field trip across literary and/or historical sites of New England

#can the universe STOP pointing me towards MORE triggers?  P l e a s e ? ?? ?????

#My heart wouldn't stop pounding and I was legitimately QUAKING even after I sat down. Luckily that manager was Compassionate

#until somebody told me to stop probably

#but i can't stop questioning myself. probably because Questioning Myself and Rigorously Guarding My Mind is the only reason I...

#EXCUSE you holy HECK that was!!! I WAS BREATHLESS AND COULDN'T STOP READING?

#Not Being Violent isn't the same as Doing Absolutely Nothing To Stop Shit in the world

#can we stop saying All Sugar Is Bad now? (it doesn't increase insulin resistance until you've consistently eaten A TON of it!)

#i will literally run into a room to stop someone from killing a spider in my vicinity. Cup and paper in hand

#now if they'd stop taking digs at fans who prefer the old show maybe that would actually MEAN something.

#and I'm LEARNING how to talk back to them (''stop talking ABOUT yourself and start talking TO yourself'')

#and do you know what happened to me in Honors English? My teacher literally told me to stop writing so much and stop thinking so hard

#(i will NEver Stop Tagging Change Your Mind as Spoilers by the way because BASCIALLY THE FINALE)

#and i think my eyes are broken because i can't stop tearing up. heck

#...i'm starting to think i should stop using my Anti Fascism tag. just ot be safe

#He doesn't even need to forgive her. But at the very least... can we stop villainizing the one who is the very reason Earth still lives?

#i'm Venting but also Suggestions on Actual Techniques that can make them fucking STOP would be appreciated

[tinyshe]

have you ever thought of making an indoor prayer garden? this has been spinning around in my head for awhile as i have been thinking and praying for those in lock down that can’t get out.

i will admit that some people will not like this but hey, i’m the person that created a potted garden in my bathroom to encourage my children who i was trying to potty train to 1) sit down on the training chair/toilet; 2) be observant. i would swap in and out plants, put small ornamental objects, little animals/fairies. some people use books, i used plants.

but back to the prayer garden. it is the same thought process as creating a home alter. people will some times put cut flowers on their home alters. what if you created a miniature prayer garden (or mary garden) ...

types of miniature/tabletop gardens could be:

 a stations of the cross ; one plant per station. you can create a tiny icon place by printing image and sandwiching between clear contact paper or laminate. there is a place called catholic parts https://www.catholicparts.com/ that has all sorts of things that can be used. they use to have stations of the cross in 1″ metal pieces or even rosary parts for stations of the cross. if you wanted to stake the station in the potted plant on wire, bamboo skewer, lolly stick or just lay flat on table.

chaplet table top garden, similar to above

saint garden

mary garden

pick a devotion that is relevant to you: sacred heart, divine mercy chaplet ...

there are little statues you can place in your table top garden or crosses / crucifix or icon

the thing is to make it yours or really make it as part of your devotion / prayer life. if you have read my garden reports, you may have gathered i do a lot of thinking and meditating in the garden. for me this is natural. i enjoy it and benefit from it so much i want to share and encourage others. gardening is therapy. gardening is prayer.

now you may be saying tine shay, we have no money for plants to fill a table, our apartment is dark, we don’t have the space, i don't be having a green thumb. shhh, don't go with the negative, look at what you do have and what you can do; there are plants that will do ok in not the most optimal situations. you may need to take the plant to a window for some light every day (that is part of your garden work out). you don’ t even need many, even one will suffice. yes, you can have a single potted plant and still call it your garden. one of my grandmothers, God rest her soul, couldn’t grow much of anything and she adored her window box of artificial flowers -- they made her happy. and that is what i’m trying to encourage here is an interconnection to caring, being happy (creating good mental health) and spiritual (growing more in your spiritual life); you can curated your outside environment and enrich your internal life (mental and spiritual) to grow, physically, mentally and spiritually.

for those that do not have the mobility, know i think and pray for you. i have been bed bound. the mind is a powerful thing! think of all the beautiful gardens you can create in your mind, tending those, adding this, moving that. you can also keep track and manage your garden by creating computer folders or better yet, journaling about your prayer garden, what is blooming, what prayers you are offering. even if you think you can’t draw, rough out a few sketches or cut out pictures and affix in your journal

there are garden apps too if that  is your style 

https://www.bhg.com/gardening/design/nature-lovers/welcome-to-plan-a-garden/

https://www.thespruce.com/free-garden-planners-1357749

https://homeoutside.com/home-outside-the-best-free-landscape-design-app/

i guess there are computer program games (sims) but the idea is to put your imagination and prayer life together; if you can do that without falling down the rabbit hole of just being on the computer (it is addictive and at time can just be brainless clicking... like too much tumblr time!) … i just fight so much with my own about how much computer time they spend. that is why i encourage the use of journaling and your own imagination because it uses a different part of your brain that you want to increase. research is good. the computer is good. but your brain and imagination is so much better.

so to tie this up, your table top/ inside prayer garden can be as big or as miniature as you like. in your mind, in a journal, on a table or window sill. you can have it here or there (channeling my inner dr seuss). it can change; it can be added to or reduced because the purpose is to create better mental health, better spiritual health and through all things good that God has given us, be better peoples for it. get in your garden daily if you can and don’t forget to pray.

[thedailymagic]

MiND

Ah, the siren song of self-care.

But wait: what IS self-care? Is it putting cucumber in your water and ignoring work e-mails? Is it cookies in bed? Is it...yoga?  I’m not here to answer those questions for you. I will say that in my experience, there’s a very blurry line between self-care and self-indulgence. And while it is tempting to take a daily bath (though if you can, DO THAT) - it’s similarly tempting to leave the robe on and maybe not comb your hair and have chocolate for dinner and popcorn for breakfast because the world’s ending anyway, right?

Wrong.  Routine, ritual, scheduling, whatever you call it - the things we do every day to bring structure to our lives are more important now than ever. Sure, you may not be making the same commute or seeing the same (or *cough* any) people, but that doesn’t mean it should all go to hell. Our brains crave stimulus, enrichment, input - and it’s harder to give it to ourselves, but not impossible. And while the internet is a tool for mental self-harm, it can also be a real blessing. I’m here to show you how. 

Of course, it goes almost without saying that there are plenty of things you can do offline to take care of your mental. So, by all means, draw, write, paint, sing, play! No better time than now. But if you’re having trouble getting started, or stuck in a rut, this post is for you.  Now, before I conclude this little intro...special consideration has been given to those of us who are not neurotypical. Those who are missing their therapists, who may have chewed their nails raw in an anxious spiral, or may slowly be realizing that they have a real problem. I’m here for you, too. 

Therapy BetterHelp - I have no insurance and I’ve moved six times in two years. BetterHelp has kept up with those moves, and I’ve been able to switch therapists as my needs changed. Best of all, they offer income-based financial aid - meaning, you can qualify for a month of therapy for as little as $182. That’s four hour-long video sessions and unlimited messaging. Insane. Sorry. Very cool.

ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. Look, I’m not here to judge. But if your upbringing was to the left of normal, you might want to look here. E-meetings are live and in effect, and they’re free to join. If you’re shy, you can just lurk - there’s also a free newsletter. 

Turn2me - Online group sessions to meet and discuss your issues. Completely free, but you do have to book in advance. Also, they link to a variety of mental health resources. 

Meditation Headspace - Before Lumosity, I used Headspace. No games, just gentle, sweet animations and recordings to help you get used to the idea of mindfulness and meditation. It’s very no-pressure, and zero woo-woo. 

Medium - Don’t feel like downloading an app? Start with this simple article on a mindfulness exercise. And while you’re there, medium has tons of articles on any topic you can imagine. 

DailyOM - DailyOM provides exercises, courses, and instruction in a “pay what you will” format. Sure, the most popular (and most visible) courses are for toning the body, but don’t be dissuaded - there are many more on topics like communication, boundary-setting, and meditation. $15 gets you 8-12 weeks of material, and their articles are free.  

Games Lumosity - I was skeptical of using Lumosity, thinking that silly little brain games wouldn’t be worth my time. Turns out, I’m that type of anxious where meditation doesn’t always work, but a simple, pleasant game was the perfect distraction to calm myself down. Also, they’re actually fun! I just bought a years’ access for $52 - and I use it every day. Dozens of games, many categories, PLUS a recent addition for meditation and mindfulness. And yes, free trials abound. 

Incredibox - Probably the coolest one on here. Incredibox is a beat-maker, for the non-musician. By assigning pre-looped tracks to a variety of characters, you play DJ for yourself. It’s incredibly soothing, almost hypnotic, and it makes me feel like a musical genius. You can save and share your creations, and there are desktop and app versions, so you can mix on the go. 

Jigzone - Friggin puzzles you can do online. C’mon. 

Learning Duolingo - for you masochists who don’t mind being harassed by a little green owl into learning a language. Jokes aside, this is an excellent training or refresher tool. Esp for those parents with kids who had to stop their language classes. Don’t try to speak French! Just download the app! It’s free. 

Udemy - Take a course on virtually anything, for next to nothing. Class prices start at 10.99. 

Masterclass - the highest-cost (but still relatively low) option - Masterclass is 15/month (billed yearly, for some reason) for specialized instruction from individuals at the top of their respective fields. Imagine, a cooking class where Gordon Ramsay doesn’t yell at you. Or, storytelling with Neil Gaiman!

Remember, y’all - your mind is a palace. Stock it well.  Love,

E

[biofunmy]

I Quit My On-Demand Laundry Service

In my study of time, I realized that these so-called conveniences were not actually saving me any.

Jan. 20, 2020

Three months ago, on Oct. 18, I ended a five-year relationship with my provider of on-demand clean underwear. I did this first by deleting the app and then later throwing out three bags imprinted with their name.  Every week since, I have been tempted to get back together with them.

We met in the spring of 2014, just as I was just starting to dabble with online services that promised to make my life easier: a little Amazon for a $5 loofah here; a little Instacart for groceries there.

All of this was O.K. because my girlfriend and I had recently become obsessed with an essay by two Nobel Prize-winning economists, who had achieved professional success and marital bliss by prioritizing time over money through their 30s.

They believed in outsourcing all that could be delegated, no matter the cost. If their savings account was measly, so what? The payout would come later. (I recently revisited the link; it was not an essay and they did not have Nobel Prizes, along with other key differences. Oh well.)

Still, I was committed to my laundromat. It was right across the street. Until, one day, it wasn’t. Its lease was up. There were plenty of other laundromats nearby, and yet I spent more than a few days that spring wearing bikini bottoms under jeans, promising to develop a new washing routine tomorrow.

It was around this time that I first noticed the vans with a slogan promising clean underwear on demand. A cartoony drawing of white briefs reinforced the point, even from a distance. And in Brooklyn that year, there was always at least one of these vans in the distance.

The price seemed a bit steep. But as our favorite economists (to misremember) said: time over money! My girlfriend and I fell in love almost immediately. We would open the app, press a button and sometimes within minutes there would be a man bounding up the stairs.

Within hours, we would get an alert that our laundry was available for delivery. “How is this sustainable?” I wondered, but only briefly — because I was so very busy with all the future-enriching things that outsourcing enables.

One of those things was making a podcast about time. But even though, by 2017, I was obtaining most things in life — toothpaste, tacos, taxis — with two clicks, I was having trouble digging in.

“Where are the hours hiding?” I asked Kathleen Gerson, a sociologist at N.Y.U.

Modern conveniences rarely save time, she told me, directing me to the work of the technology historian Ruth Schwartz Cowan.

In the 1983 book “More Work for Mother,” Dr. Cowan shows that the 19th century was brimming with oodles of innovations that promised luxurious downtime. “There were hand-driven washing machines and taps for indoor cisterns, eggbeaters and pulley-driven butter churns,” she writes.

Based on her analysis, however, none of these made life “one whit more convenient or less tiring during the whole of the century. What a strange paradox that in the face of so many labor-saving devices, little labor appears to have been saved!”

In the 20th century, just before World War II, automatic washing machines promised elusive blocks of nothing-to-take-care-of. What actually shifted was that people changed their underwear and sheets more often, creating more work of a different kind.

I was not sure how the laundry service was altering my behavior. Mostly I noticed other people’s socks. There was something charming about finding them amid our belongings. Some of my own clothes went missing, too.

But when you love someone and they are growing quickly, silk pants get lost. And if my darling was not maturing, then, to be fair, neither was I. Sometimes when I accused them of losing my shirt, they had lost my shirt. Other times it was just hiding in my closet.

And then one day I realized that most of my best clothing, along with my now-wife’s, was gone. Where was that jumpsuit?I hit “Schedule Delivery.”

���Error,” the app said.

I called and emailed and no one responded. A week passed, and then several more days. I wish I could tell you this was the moment I decided it was over. But no, that was just the moment I decided to become a hostage negotiator. I put in a fake order, gathered my cash and waited.

Philip Zimbardo, the psychologist behind the famous (and possibly discredited) Stanford prison experiment, has a theory that people have different time perspectives — not totally unlike sexual orientations. Some are focused on the past. Others on the future.

I am a person of the present. And initially with the rise of on-demand apps, I convinced myself that this was the people of the present’s moment to thrive. If we had forgotten to do absolutely everything until it was too late, there was an app for that.

These companies were doing such a great job rebranding procrastination as efficiency that I actually believed it.

It was comparably convenient for me to believe the man when he arrived at my house and told me everything would soon be resolved. He then pointed to the service’s signature bag across the room. Did we want to put in another order? I am so very, very busy, I told myself. And when it goes well, it is just so very, very easy. We said yes, despite the fact that our clothes were still missing.

Of course, the app was not fixed.

I timed my walk to my new laundromat: 13 minutes there and back. Drop-off service is cheaper than my beloved app and technically available sooner. It has also forced me to get some exercise, the one task I have never figured out how to outsource.

I have come to see that for temporal anarchists, on-demand services only enable our worst tendencies, magnifying our chaos. That satisfying sense of completion we get just from clicking the button — it’s often a trick. Though we resented it, being tethered to old-fashioned commercial space and time was good for us.

And yet when the service finally returned our clothes, after nearly two weeks, I was tempted to try again. I told myself it was O.K. because they were dealing with a change in ownership. Also no one in history had ever willingly given up a timesaving convenience even if it never saved them time.

Right? Not exactly, Dr. Cowan told me when I called her. In the 1970s, as microwave ovens ballooned in popularity, many people were convinced that the home-cooked meal was over.

But though there was a period of frenzied experimentation with cooking everything and anything in microwaves, now they are used primarily for heating stuff up. As I write this, I can proudly say that I have not gone back to the service and the clothes I’m wearing are mostly clean.

Photo illustration by Tony Cenicola/The New York Times

Sahred From Source link Fashion and Style

from WordPress http://bit.ly/3atWebF via IFTTT

[mastcomm]

I Quit My On-Demand Laundry Service

In my study of time, I realized that these so-called conveniences were not actually saving me any.

Jan. 20, 2020

Three months ago, on Oct. 18, I ended a five-year relationship with my provider of on-demand clean underwear. I did this first by deleting the app and then later throwing out three bags imprinted with their name.  Every week since, I have been tempted to get back together with them.

We met in the spring of 2014, just as I was just starting to dabble with online services that promised to make my life easier: a little Amazon for a $5 loofah here; a little Instacart for groceries there.

All of this was O.K. because my girlfriend and I had recently become obsessed with an essay by two Nobel Prize-winning economists, who had achieved professional success and marital bliss by prioritizing time over money through their 30s.

They believed in outsourcing all that could be delegated, no matter the cost. If their savings account was measly, so what? The payout would come later. (I recently revisited the link; it was not an essay and they did not have Nobel Prizes, along with other key differences. Oh well.)

Still, I was committed to my laundromat. It was right across the street. Until, one day, it wasn’t. Its lease was up. There were plenty of other laundromats nearby, and yet I spent more than a few days that spring wearing bikini bottoms under jeans, promising to develop a new washing routine tomorrow.

It was around this time that I first noticed the vans with a slogan promising clean underwear on demand. A cartoony drawing of white briefs reinforced the point, even from a distance. And in Brooklyn that year, there was always at least one of these vans in the distance.

The price seemed a bit steep. But as our favorite economists (to misremember) said: time over money! My girlfriend and I fell in love almost immediately. We would open the app, press a button and sometimes within minutes there would be a man bounding up the stairs.

Within hours, we would get an alert that our laundry was available for delivery. “How is this sustainable?” I wondered, but only briefly — because I was so very busy with all the future-enriching things that outsourcing enables.

One of those things was making a podcast about time. But even though, by 2017, I was obtaining most things in life — toothpaste, tacos, taxis — with two clicks, I was having trouble digging in.

“Where are the hours hiding?” I asked Kathleen Gerson, a sociologist at N.Y.U.

Modern conveniences rarely save time, she told me, directing me to the work of the technology historian Ruth Schwartz Cowan.

In the 1983 book “More Work for Mother,” Dr. Cowan shows that the 19th century was brimming with oodles of innovations that promised luxurious downtime. “There were hand-driven washing machines and taps for indoor cisterns, eggbeaters and pulley-driven butter churns,” she writes.

Based on her analysis, however, none of these made life “one whit more convenient or less tiring during the whole of the century. What a strange paradox that in the face of so many labor-saving devices, little labor appears to have been saved!”

In the 20th century, just before World War II, automatic washing machines promised elusive blocks of nothing-to-take-care-of. What actually shifted was that people changed their underwear and sheets more often, creating more work of a different kind.

I was not sure how the laundry service was altering my behavior. Mostly I noticed other people’s socks. There was something charming about finding them amid our belongings. Some of my own clothes went missing, too.

But when you love someone and they are growing quickly, silk pants get lost. And if my darling was not maturing, then, to be fair, neither was I. Sometimes when I accused them of losing my shirt, they had lost my shirt. Other times it was just hiding in my closet.

And then one day I realized that most of my best clothing, along with my now-wife’s, was gone. Where was that jumpsuit? I hit “Schedule Delivery.”

“Error,” the app said.

I called and emailed and no one responded. A week passed, and then several more days. I wish I could tell you this was the moment I decided it was over. But no, that was just the moment I decided to become a hostage negotiator. I put in a fake order, gathered my cash and waited.

Philip Zimbardo, the psychologist behind the famous (and possibly discredited) Stanford prison experiment, has a theory that people have different time perspectives — not totally unlike sexual orientations. Some are focused on the past. Others on the future.

I am a person of the present. And initially with the rise of on-demand apps, I convinced myself that this was the people of the present’s moment to thrive. If we had forgotten to do absolutely everything until it was too late, there was an app for that.

These companies were doing such a great job rebranding procrastination as efficiency that I actually believed it.

It was comparably convenient for me to believe the man when he arrived at my house and told me everything would soon be resolved. He then pointed to the service’s signature bag across the room. Did we want to put in another order? I am so very, very busy, I told myself. And when it goes well, it is just so very, very easy. We said yes, despite the fact that our clothes were still missing.

Of course, the app was not fixed.

I timed my walk to my new laundromat: 13 minutes there and back. Drop-off service is cheaper than my beloved app and technically available sooner. It has also forced me to get some exercise, the one task I have never figured out how to outsource.

I have come to see that for temporal anarchists, on-demand services only enable our worst tendencies, magnifying our chaos. That satisfying sense of completion we get just from clicking the button — it’s often a trick. Though we resented it, being tethered to old-fashioned commercial space and time was good for us.

And yet when the service finally returned our clothes, after nearly two weeks, I was tempted to try again. I told myself it was O.K. because they were dealing with a change in ownership. Also no one in history had ever willingly given up a timesaving convenience even if it never saved them time.

Right? Not exactly, Dr. Cowan told me when I called her. In the 1970s, as microwave ovens ballooned in popularity, many people were convinced that the home-cooked meal was over.

But though there was a period of frenzied experimentation with cooking everything and anything in microwaves, now they are used primarily for heating stuff up. As I write this, I can proudly say that I have not gone back to the service and the clothes I’m wearing are mostly clean.

Heather Murphy is a general assignment reporter at The New York Times, who often writes about advances in DNA technology.

Photo illustration by Tony Cenicola/The New York Times

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/life-style/i-quit-my-on-demand-laundry-service/

[spherewine28-blog]

Game Preview | Tried and True Method Guides Brown&#039;s Teaching Approach

Scene Setter:

At the heart of every good coach, there more often than not is a good teacher.

The professions may go by different words, but their core missions are similar.

Educate. Improve. Enrich. Mentor. Lead.

In Brett Brown and Gregg Popovich, the 76ers (20-11) and San Antonio Spurs (15-15) have two of the NBA’s preeminent teachers coaching their respective teams.

This statement that can be made about Brown given the strong track record for player development he’s built up in nearly 20 years in the league - first, as an assistant under Popovich, and now as the Sixers’ leading man.

As for Popovich, you probably don’t need a Sixers.com article to tell you why the fourth-winningest coach of all-time is probably the best to ever do it. We’ll simply leave you with this opinion - it would be oversight to attribute his heady accomplishments to Xs-and-Os alone.

Given the extent to which Brown and Popovich worked together - 12 years, 663 wins, four championships, and five NBA Finals appearances - it would almost be shocking if there weren’t some parallels between them.   

Sure enough, a prominent one lies in their shared belief in a teaching style commonly referred to as the Whole-Part-Whole method.  

“Pop taught us in San Antonio ‘Whole-Part-Whole,’” said Monty Williams, who was a coaching intern during San Antonio’s 2004-05  title run, when Brown was also on the staff.

Williams is currently in his first season on Brown’s bench, after spending the past two years as the Spurs’ Vice President of Basketball Operations.

“You show [players] everything, you break it down, then you put it back together.”

Across the board, Whole-Part-Whole influences how Brown runs the Sixers. One example, Williams said, is the way assistants are tasked with structuring their one-on-one development sessions with players.

Take the case of Landry Shamet.

Over the summer, when the promising rookie first started working with Williams, they would (as they continue to do) devote a tone to focusing on how Shamet’s role and position was supposed to function in the context of various situations.

How could a dribble hand-off, for instance, or coming off a pindown hold the key to unlocking an optimal 3-point shot? What should he do depending on the type of set the Sixers are in?

Whole-Part-Whole instruction has helped the 2018 no. 26 learn.

“I think anybody can go in the gym, dribble the ball, and hoist up a three or something,” Shamet said. “That’s just not realistic. I think workouts and skill development should be realistic and replicate what you’re going to see in a game.”

“When you get into the laws of teaching, [Whole-Part-Whole] is the overarching thing,” Brown said.

While Brown’s stint in San Antonio reinforced to him the value of Whole-Part-Whole, his appreciation for the teaching tactic goes back much farther in life, to within the walls of his childhood house.

Brown’s father, Bob, was a school teacher and an accomplished high school and college coach. Whether the subject matter was books or basketball, Whole-Part-Whole was ever-present.

These days, it’s also a central component of Brown’s film sessions with the Sixers. He’s a big believer that “vision trumps all senses.”

“If you see it, you have a chance to do it.”

So, Brown first introduces the big picture, then zooms in on the finer details. Finally, he pulls back out to 30,000 feet.

“When you drape that notion over a Whole-Part-Whole method, you kind of end up there.”

After so many years as a coach, evolution is important to Brown. But his successes seem to have taught him this: by making sure the parts are great, the whole can be even better.

“How you teach, how people learn, how you set things up where there’s a logic progression, as you get older and you coach longer and longer,” he said, “it might be the single thing that interests me the most.”

Opponent Outlook:

We’ll readily admit it.

The other night, on the eve of the Sixers’ match-up with Cleveland, we were monitoring what was happening in San Antonio’s game against the Chicago Bulls. When the Spurs got up big in the first half, leading by as many as 21, we stopped paying attention.

Well, the joke was on us.

Chicago, on the road no less, outscored San Antonio 55-31 in the second stanza to emerge with an impressive 98-93 victory. The Spurs hit just 5 of 21 shots (1-7 3fg) in the fourth quarter, and subsequently saw a season-high tying four-game winning streak end.

In his debut campaign with San Antonio, All-Star DeMar DeRozan is averaging 23.6 points, 5.5 rebounds, and 6.1 assists per game. No player in Spurs history has ever posted a 20.0 / 5.0 / 5.0 season.

Follow Along:

• Audio: 97.5 FM The Fanatic / Sixers Radio Network

• Video: NBC Sports Philadelphia / NBC Sports MyTeams app

Source: https://www.nba.com/sixers/news/game-preview-tried-and-true-teaching-method-guides-browns-approach